"I"m not going to drag anyone else into it. An accumulation mainly."
A down swing is not a fun thing. When too many things point in one direction, it can be very difficult to resist the momentum. You need someone to grab you by the collar and say, "I won't let you fall."
And then you meet your true circumstances, when you realize that nobody is grabbing your collar, nobody is even paying enough attention to realize that you need grabbing, and the more you realize this, the more desperate you become to be saved.
And the more alone and unvalued you feel. Spell-check says unvalued isn't a word. I say it is.